Back Home in Indiana

I returned “home” to Indiana for the week with my husband, Rob and my two adult boys to visit my mother-in-law and family.

This home and town holds a special place in my heart.  I have been returning at least a couple of times a year for the past 18 years.  I remember my children sitting outside watching their Pop plan and build his dream house.  Their little hands, along with their cousins are cemented out back.  We lived upstairs for 8 months in between our move from New Hampshire to Tennessee.  We created our own space upstairs and enjoyed traveling back and forth between the cousins' house, city pool, library and the beaches of Lake Michigan.  This is a second home for all of us.

I remember hot summer days, sticky fingers, dirty feet and sun kissed cheeks.  Exhausted little boys after hours of play outside, in the pool and cooling off in the basement.  This was where I helped care for my father in law as he suffered and eventually died from cancer. 

Now, this is the place we return to. 

To visit, to help, to remember and create new memories.  As the boys are adults, this may be the last long visit we spend together here.  Our days have been filled with card games, cheesy rom-com movies, old Disney classics, reading and visiting on the porch swing.

I moved around a lot as a child, and I wanted to stay in one place when I raised my kids.  Unfortunately, life took us down a different path.  Hopefully, the mountain home will be the house that we all return to in the future. I smile as the boys plan ahead for times gathering together to hike, ski and sit on our porch together.

Home is more than a physical structure. 

Home is more than concrete blocks, brick, drywall and paint.  It shelters loved ones, nourishes and feeds our bodies and souls with home cooked meals, snuggles for stories and movies, and encourages stories about the past and dreams of the future.

My mat has been a house of sorts. 

It is something that travels with me.  It is my portal to the home within me…my soul.  The place where I can connect to myself.  It’s not an escape from life, but the place where I find myself again…and again.

When my energy is waning and my inner light has dimmed, I unroll my mat and step on.  The thick black mat holds space for all the emotions and feelings that I bring with me that day.  Using my breath as a tool,  I begin to notice the inhale and exhale.  Using the practice of breath and movement to dispel any negative or charged energy.  Seeking harmony and centeredness.

My mat is where I recharge my batteries and fill my cup. 

Feeling my hands and feet making contact to the ground and plugging in to the source.

Using noise canceling headphones to silence the chaos or noise of Hallmark TV in order to listen to my own breath.  I have learned over the years to give myself this time.  I don’t need to earn it.  I don’t need to ask permission to slip out of sight and leave people unattended. 

This week, I have been rising at dawn at 4:30am to greet the day on my mat.  Despite the early hour, I can see the sun slowly lighten the sky outside my tiny window.  The birds begin to sing and the sprinklers click on to drench the dry grass. 

This quiet time and space sustains me throughout the day. 

I have a small corner that houses a pillow for meditation, mala beads, essential oil blend, violet flower essence, tarot cards, my red journal and colored pens.  By waking early, I can enjoy this quiet time with my breath, my practice and myself.

Spending time on my mat connects me to my core.  My center. My light.  From that place I can make clear choices and decisions.  It sustains my energy and reminds me to open up to the beauty of life.  I take this light out of my room and share it with the people around me.

During my stay in Indiana, as we reminisce on the past, I've been thinking back on my 28 years of marriage, 24 years of motherhood and 50 (almost 51) years of living.

I’ve begun to acknowledge all my major and minor accomplishments so far.  Sometimes, I forget to pat myself on the back and congratulate myself for them.  I remember the challenges, struggles, fear, doubt, uncertainty, despair and all the joy, happiness, wonder and curiosity. 

My practice has been the constant tool to allow me to feel and deal with it all.

This soul journey that I’m on has been filled with twists and turns, dead ends and new beginnings.  

I’m excited to see where it takes me as I bravely continue on a new path, full of learning new skills, engaging in a beginner’s mind and sharing my tools and resources with others.

Come along and join me. See where it takes me.

For the month of June, I am challenging myself to create and share daily.  I am developing content for future courses and workshops, journaling questions, guided yoga and meditation and sharing some of the personal practices that I use in my life.

I’m generating new ideas for finding more fun ways to engage in life and get to know myself on a deeper level.

Stay tuned.

Thank you for reading and joining me in my journey.

Blythe

What are you interested in learning more about?  I’d love to hear. 

Jot down any ideas in the comment section.