I Lost my Voice!
Of course, it was there all along… but it had grown quiet and small.
My mother would beg to disagree. When I was young, she used to complain that I was too loud. I was explosive and yelled my frustrations at others. I lacked the patience and clarity to slow down, and put my thoughts together in a clear way.
I grew up in a house of quiet denial. Issues were rarely brought out to the open and discussed. I was labeled as “dramatic” or “too emotional” if I raised my voice or expressed myself. Over time, I learned to keep the peace and kept certain controversial opinions or topics to myself. Instead of speaking up about my discomfort or displeasure, I would accept the situation.
There were instances when I felt silenced and shut down during conversations with family and friends. I was in an unhealthy pattern of avoidance when challenged by people of authority.
I was disconnected from my inner voice.
As I became an adult, partner and parent I began to notice the problems that these patterns had created.
I began to notice that laughter would get stuck in my throat. I couldn’t access my joy by making sounds to express my happiness or amusement.
I would resort to nervous chatter, finding anyone around to talk with.
I noticed how other people were able to clearly communicate their thoughts and use their voices as a tool for change. I admired their courage and confidence when speaking their opinions.
I lacked this ability and recognized that I needed to learn new habits and techniques to practice them.
I needed to remember how to connect and access my voice. This vital part of my being . I wanted to heal and strengthen it in order to move forward with my business and life. I wanted to improve my communication and listening with my community, family and friends.
At the beginning of 2023, I decided to dedicate some time and energy to this healing work. As a yoga practitioner, I leaned on the ancient yogic practices to work on this by using the chakra system.
Vishuddha Chakra
Throat Chakra
Image courtesy of www.healingdesignlv.com
In the yoga tradition, the chakras are the energy centers that are a part of the astral body. The astral body is the energetic body that can be neither seen nor touched. There are 7 “spinning wheels” of energy that begin at the base of the spine along the central channel and move upward to the crown.
The Vishuddha, or throat chakra is the fifth chakra in this system. This chakra includes the throat, tongue, neck, jaw, ears and thyroid gland. It is the “purity” chakra that is connected to speech and hearing. When this wheel is spinning and moving energy effectively, it’s easier to speak the truth and to connect to personal values. This is where all forms of creativity are formed and shared with others.
The blue color reflects all aspects of creative expression. This cooler color helps the body and mind find stillness. It represents the ideal of a pure mind, devoid of confusion and negativity.
HAM (pronounced HUM) is the bija or seed sound associated with this chakra. When chanted, it creates a vibration in the throat that helps to activate the inner Self.
I wanted my voice to be used creatively and communicate with others. I wanted to trust that my thoughts would be expressed through my voice effectively.
I turned to my existing practices and tools within my life to enhance this process of learning. I broke it down into different categories so that I had a plan.
Kundalini kriya by Kia Miller on glo
Boundaries setting course on Insight Timer with Terri Cole
Journal self limiting beliefs and creating boundaries
Pranayama - breath exercises for purification and healing
Chant Lakshmi mantra daily
Sing loud in the car and house for fun
5 simple practices to focus on throat chakra
1. Pranayama
Bhramari (Bees Breath)
Inhaling through nose
Exhale out mouth, creating a humming sound like a bee
Ujjayi ( Ocean Breath or Darth Vader)
Constrict back of throat with closed mouth, lengthening breath cycle.
2. Meditation
Visualization of the blue swirling, spinning wheel of energy at the throat center. Connect to the feeling of clarity, calm and connection.
Visualize white light emanating from this spot and spread and illuminate the entire body.
Practice Bees Breath or Ujjayi pranayama
3. Mantra
Chant HAM (HUM) and repeat finding your own voice and rhythm.
4. Affirmations
Speak aloud to work with and strengthen throat chakra.
I speak my ideas and thoughts with courage and clarity.
I set clear boundaries.
I am free to express my creativity.
I am an active listener.
I am connected and speak my truth.
5. Journaling
What beliefs are holding me back from using my voice?
Where did this belief come from?
Is it true? Really?
How is this belief holding me back?
How does this belief make me feel?
What small steps could I take to heal this belief?
How could I reframe this belief to serve me?
How would I feel to freely use my voice to express myself?
How would my days and life change with this shift?
What would I create, speak and or share with my new voice?
Following through with these practices helped be gain clarity and wisdom. This was invaluable as I began to navigate life’s many challenges.
Instead of launching into my year with endless resolutions, plans and schedules I decided to focus on my inner voice.
I uncovered and began to heal beliefs that kept me small and prevented me from confidently communicating and moving forward.
I began to connect to what my voice could offer myself and others.
Card is from Connected and Free, The Alchemist’s Oracle deck. By inner hue.
“I am a Powerful Messenger”
This message offered the oracle card and booklet, by inner hue, was the inspiration for my exploration.
“The throat is your PA tool which not only audibly sends a powerful message to the world, but also imbrues the toning, frequency of the feeling/ emotion into what you are communicating. It’s a double dose of power! The throat chakra is the tool with which we speak from our heart with purpose and passion as well as expressing the Higher wisdoms from our 6th and 7th chakras. When open and balanced, we are able to express with honesty, integrity, ease and joy. When blocked we may feel silenced, frustrated or misunderstood.”
After concentrating on practices to bring prana (life force) to my throat chakra, I felt more connected to my power.
It helped me move through fear and creative blocks.
I felt stronger in my practices of creative expression.
I created clear boundaries around my time in order to retain my vital energy.
My tone of emotions and feelings were calmer and balanced.
I felt strengthened to communicate my ideas, thoughts and fears with others.
